Wasted Years

Acidman weighs in on gas prices and the price gas station attendants are paying.

One of the things I enjoy about reading Acidman's rants, is the way he'll explain his position and then sum it all up in a couple of words.

If you can't pay for your gas, buy a bicycle. And shut the fuck up.

Amen!

A few years back I used to work the midnight shift in a gas station. At that time, gas was still less than $2/gallon, but people would piss and moan about gas prices and I had my fair share of customers come in and rip into me over the price I was 'forcing' them to pay for gas. After I had a couple of worthless pricks drive off without paying, I made everyone prepay, no matter what. At that time, the system allowed the clerk to stop and start pumps, even after the gas had started pumping.

So after some jackass would come in and take his anger out on me, I'd ruin his night a little more by constantly stopping and restarting the pump he was on. The abusive cocksuker customer would motion angrily at me and point at his pump. I'd shrug my shoulders, push the start button, and give him a thumbs-up. He'd go back to pumping his gas and I'd wait for him to look away. Once the coast was clear, I'd hammer the stop button and grab a magazine or make myself look busy. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I'd do that as many times as I felt was fair for the level of verbal abuse I'd suffered. Sometimes, I'd get on the Voice-Of-God mic and talk to the assholes:

Me: Push the button.
C: I did!
Me: Not according to the computer
C: I pushed the fucking button!!
Me: Well, here... (pushes random buttons on register and then the start button) ...try it now.
C: Oh there it goes.
Me: (Pushes stop button) Glad I could help you out!
C: Wait! It's not working again!
Me: Well, let me try resetting your pump. I need you to hang up the nozzle for a second.
C: (Hangs nozzle up)

At this point I'd usually reset the pump, give them the go-ahead, and leave 'em alone, but the ones that were real pricks got it bad. I actually had one guy spend almost twenty minutes trying to pump gas before I had him move to another pump and let him go from there.

Sure, they'd come back in and bitch at me again about my pump not working, but at least it provided me with cheap entertainment on slow nights. Plus, this time around, I was actually getting bitched at for something I had control over.

Don't fuck with the attendants... or better yet, don't bite the hand that feeds you.