I ranted last week about how I thought relationships were supposed to be a cooperative effort. I still do.
But I don't understand what's so hard about putting forth that effort, especially if you claim to love someone. Earlier this week is was made clear to me that if that effort isn't there, it's unlikely that it ever will be. That's a hard truth for me to swallow. But I don't want to spend all of my time trying to make something work only to fail.
A close, dear friend of mine had been having problems in her marriage. But something changed and her and her husband started making it work. Together. And then her husband was murdered. I can't imagine the pain and anguish she's been going through. To be there, on the verge of having everything come together, and have it taken away in the blink of an eye. I don't know how it feels, but I'm aware of myself enough to know that I couldn't handle it. I don't want to have to constantly fight over stupid shit only to finally make peace and have it be too late to enjoy and love each other.
If I'm going to be in a relationship, it has to be one that's going to work. There can't be any major b.s. Because life is shorter than we think. It can be unexpectedly taken from us at any time and we would be wise to spend it on the people who really matter.
I don't want subservience, indecision, laziness, or materialness. I want equality.
I want to receive back what I feel I give.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Comments (1)
Okay, so I may be seen as the evil ex from Planet Bitch by a certain self-centered mother who apparently doesn't think that Dave is anywhere near as intelligent as he is... even WITHOUT commenting directly about her... so, here goes. Why the hell not?
Jess, I have spent SO much time seeing the pain in Dave's eyes whenever the subject of his precious daughter comes up. Not because of her in direct perspective, but in regards to what he goes through because of what YOU drag him through. Ed's right - Dave is WAY too good for you. He is So beyond special to me, I can't even try to explain it to you, because you so obviously don't have the capability to FEEL it yourself anyways. Dave is one of the very few people I know in this world that when you mean something to him, you mean it ALL. And he would do anything for his family, and I mean ANYTHING, and he is TRYING and TRYING to make you a part of that family. You just plain won't let him. How you can be so cold and uncaring for your own daughter's father is beyond me, especially when you really are DAMN lucky to have DAVE to fill those shoes. It takes a REALLY special guy to even be a good daddy in a solid relationship or marriage picture... Dave is here, ready and waiting, in whatever way he can get his little girl, and you even deny him that.
I have NO respect for you, never have, and obviously never will. You have gone BEYOND killing that possibility with your perspective on life in every aspect, even before becoming a mommy, and now it saddens me to think what you even do as a mom. As one to another, you really do need to reconsider what strength and greatness you have waiting there to take charge of the full and total fatherhood role for your daughter.
And to Dave, you know that you deserve much much more. And you and I have talked about this on numerous occassions, and no matter what YOU choose to do, I support ya, 100%. Because it's for YOU. Keep your head up, because you have SO much to offer... you have always been nothing but supportive to a fault and literally one of the most caring, dedicated people I have EVER known. Always thinking about you, and you know you have two people, soon to be three (gotta love the Uncle Batman) over here that love you very much... you ARE family.
Posted by Larissa | September 11, 2005 1:47 PM