Those two words probably aren't what you'd expect to read, especially with the heat and humidity we've endured over the past couple of weeks. But when your water heater eats it and the soonest someone can come out to replace it is Tuesday afternoon, the word 'cold' takes on a whole new meaning. Especially when describing the showers you'll be taking until the water heater is replaced.
Yesterday morning I woke up to no hot water - the ancient (30+ years) water heater basically pissed it's pants and slowly dribbled 40 gallons of water into the drain in the basement. Well, I don't know what the drain rate of the water at the time of failure was actually... by the time I found the watery carnage it was dribbling. Slowly. I had to work on the cold water shut off valve for about half an hour before I finally managed to close it all the way - conceivably it hadn't been used in 30+ years so it wasn't in a real big hurry to turn in any direction but 'stuck'.
Of course with no water heater, I woke up at five this morning, hopped in the shower, and then really woke up. There's is nothing that will wake you up faster than freezing cold water running down your back. I guaran-damn-tee it.
On the upside of things, I did find out that the hormone control theory of taking a cold shower definitely works - after my ice shower this morning I went the entire day without my usual urges to bang every decent-looking woman in sight. Consider that scientific research and give me grant money Uncle Sam.
On the downside - I still can't find my penis.
