Wasted Years

Iowahawk shares a satirical view of the MSM's Messiah:

The Not-Really-That-Epic Poem of Obamacles

Worth a read if you're looking for a chuckle.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Second Level of Hell
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

It's probably not the greatest timing for me, but I started another blog. I'll be covering tech-related things there. I've been thinking about starting a tech blog for over a year now partly because I like to be helpful and partly because I might be a bit insane. Since school is starting Monday my posting will be erratic, but once things calm down I'm going to try to stick to a regular schedule.

Speaking of new endeavors, Mary has a couple of her own. She's written a book (I've read it and I think it's awesome!), sent out queries to agents, and started a website of her own. Words of encouragement should be shared since only one of those is easy. Her accomplishments have helped put a fire back into me and so I write again. Bits and pieces right now, but I feel like the damn in my head is about to burst and spill forth words down through my fingers and across the keyboard...

Way to go Mary! How's that second book coming? (hint hint)

After the past couple of shitty weeks, finding this in my inbox cracked me up:

Thanks Bea!

Spread it!

Even though it's almost the fifth, I figured I'd say it anyway.

I went downtown and caught the fireworks display. I've got to say, my hometown drops the ball on a lot of things and screws the pooch more often than not, but when it comes to the 4th of July fireworks, they go all out.

Tonight was the first time in a long time I made it out for the display and I wasn't disappointed.

I hope you all had a safe and happy 4th!

123 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Superior Take the test!

Found via Bane

That's all I can say after seeing the pics from Mambo. I uploaded them to Flickr and since some of them could get a certain person in trouble (maybe persons? Not sure...), I made them private.

Which sucks for those of you without accounts, but I've gotta look out for people here. If creating an account is a hassle and you really want to see these pics (especially the incriminating blackmail shots) stuff $500 in a plain brown envelope and drop it in my mail slot with an address for me to mail them to.

The pics can be found here.

Thought I'd mention this because quite a few people have been asking - I'm writing again. It's true!

My muse has returned from her long journey and wrapped me in a loving embrace all the while whispering sweet seductive ideas to me. And I've been listening attentively, allowing her sweet nothings to wash over me, through me, and down to the keyboard.

And it feels good.

Last week I began what hopefully will turn into a new and rewarding hobby - I'm playing photographer. A co-worker was kind enough to be my subject for my first outing and I figured out pretty quick that for me, working with people is preferable to still life.

I should have the pics back on Tuesday and I'll post them then. I'll also have Mambo pics for posting - something which scares the bejeezus out of me considering the overall level of depravity that night.

Back to my new hobby though... don't be surprised if I come knocking on your door looking for subjects. I might already have my next subject lined up provided I can get him to stand still long enough. And I'm definitely taking my camera when I go to Arizona - I've got a lot of ideas for pics and I hope Bea is feeling photogenic!

I saw Iron Man with Dax on Friday. I was never a big Iron Man fan, but seeing the previews and hearing the reviews made me curious. I am damn glad I was curious - that movie is awesome!

I enjoyed it so much, I'm planning on seeing it again first chance I get. If you're an Iron Man fan and haven't seen it yet - what the hell is wrong with you? Git! Even if you're not a fan, check it out. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

I've been asked a few times now by different people how Echo is doing:

He has launched well over two hundred attacks on me using guerrilla hit and fade tactics, striking my legs and killing my toes. He attacks from shelves, under the bed, and once scared the crap out of me by leaping out at me from under the dirty clothes in my laundry basket.

He woke me up this morning by stabbing me in the lips with his claws - accidentally, but damn! He demands attention by jumping up and hanging on to my pant leg, which is fine when I have jeans on but sucks when I'm still in pajama pants.

He's doing great and will soon be off to see the samurai veterinarian for the visit that will leave him half the cat he used to be.

Kim and her little brother are bowling tomorrow but there's still time to help Kim reach her fund raising goal.

If you've got a couple of dollars to spare, please consider donating to this worthy cause.

Thanks!

Bea had her baby on Wednesday!

Aliyah Teresa weighed in at 7 pounds, 3 ounces.

Congrats!

Since it actually is the 14th now...

Valentine's Day is dog shit.

Bah humbug.

(Bumping this to the top for maximum exposure. New posts are below this one.)

A friend of mine from work is trying to raise money for Big Brothers Big Sisters. More information on BBBS and it's programs can be found here.

If you have a few dollars to spare, Kim's page is here.

Thanks!

If you've been coming around for awhile, you probably noticed that this blog was suffering from massive page load times. I finally tracked it down to an old script that was running and I think (think, mind you!) I've gotten things back to a bearable load time.

If you were watching paint dry to pass the time waiting for the site to open, please be kind enough to let me know how it is for you now.

Thanks!

If you're having problems posting comments could you please email me with details.

Thanks.

Found and fixed.

Thanks Krissy!

Happy New Year everyone!

For those of you who raised my ire in '07, I hope Baby New Year pisses and shits in your cereal.

Repeatedly.

Since Kathy has nothing better to do at work than surf the internet, here's a post!

Have a puzzle.

For Christmas I could use some new instrument cables... six footers would be nice...

Oh, and maybe some new guitar strings.

And while you're at it, could you give Kathy a new car so she doesn't freeze to death while driving... yeah I know she's been rotten this year, but it's not her fault. Please don't give her coal.

Thanks big guy!

"Dumb fucking bastard mother fucker of a cunt"

Wow.

That's just...

Wow.

When I saw VK's high germ count, I was blown away while silently vowing to avoid shaking her hand if we ever meet. After figuring out my germ count, I'll be lucky if anybody ever wants to shake my hand again:

2,247,000How Many Germs Live On Your Keyboard?

If anyone needs me, I'll be holding my hands in a roaring flame for about an hour.

I've been trying to understand what a 2-year-old could possibly have done to warrant the inhumane torture (WARNING: Not an easy read) she suffered at the hands of her own mother and her mother's fat bastard slob of a husband.

I've also been trying to understand how acts of savagery such as this can occur in a "civilized" world. I wonder if a small segment of the population has always been this fucked up and we just never heard about it or if these kinds of things are representative of the downward spiral we're beginning to fall into.

I stayed very far away from centers of commerce on Friday, since it was the infamous 'Kill Others To Get To The Last One Of The Thing I Want' shopping day. My thoughts on the Black Friday madness have been summed up by this lovely lady here.

My shopping, if I do any, will consist of swift surgical strikes into specific stores at specific times of day. If I can buy it online, so be it. I am not in the mood to deal with crazed idiots who can't be bothered to remember their manners during the season of giving.

What am I doing up at 4 in the morning?

A 5 hour nap on the couch will do that to ya...

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving and are able to spend it with family, good friends, or at the very least - people you don't hate.

I'll be off to my sister's house later today and have big plans to hide in the basement with my nephew and play Guitar Hero III.

Have a safe and happy day everyone!

The Mist, based on the novella by Stephen King, was released yesterday. I've always loved the story since it was one of the first I read that made my skin crawl. If you've never read it, The Mist follows a group of townspeople who become trapped in the local supermarket when a thick, unnatural mist falls upon the town. People who venture outside are killed by mysterious creatures that are hidden within the mist. The protagonist finds himself at odds with a religious zealot who believes the answer to their problems is a human sacrifice... I don't want to reveal too much more, but trust me when I say check it out. In my opinion, it's a good read and does a great job of portraying the personality changes of people caught in threatening situations.

While not a life-threatening situation, I found myself in a position to witness a personality shift that was completely unexpected. Back in the days of my misspent youth, a group of us piled into my car to go party at a friend's house the night before a concert. Of course we were stocked up with the necessary supplies to ensure a good time. We had barely passed out of the city limits when I was greeted by flashing lights in the rear view mirror. I was thinking quite a few unpleasant thoughts but had to push them to the side to deal with a small crisis. My buddy was riding in the back and had been smoking when we were pulled over. Not being of legal smoking age this usually calm, cool, collected individual who almost always kept his head began to go into near-hysterics over being pulled over. He was almost hyperventilating because he was positive he was going to be caught smoking and his mom was going to find out. Instead of dropping the cigarette out through the open window, he opened the back door and dropped the still smoking vessel of his guilt to the ground - a major no no with a cop sitting right behind you. Fortunately it went unnoticed, but I had had enough. I turned and blew up at him, yelling at him to calm down which is amusing to think about since I'm sure my yelling did anything but calm him down. He finally did settle down and just sat there staring straight ahead. The traffic stop wound up being a warning about the amount of stuff I had piled on the back window, and we continued on our merry way. I learned a lot about my buddy that day though... and it was good knowledge to have later on down the line.

Well, I've veered off here... started off with talking about The Mist by Stephen King and took a stroll down memory lane. The movie is in theaters now and from the trailers looks like it's a good adaptation of the story. Check it out!

I signed up to do NaNo again this year, but I haven't started my writing yet.

I'm dealing with so much shit right now, I'm not even sure if I'm going to even try. Especially since I'm facing a deficit of almost 7,000 words. I was really hoping to make it to 50,000 this year, but I'm not feeling too optimistic about it.

I reckon we'll see what tomorrow brings.

When I took Echo to the vet after finding him, the vet went over kitten care with me. I knew about bottle feeding but I wasn't prepared for the next bit of information - young kittens cannot eliminate on their own. Their muscles aren't strong enough to allow them to, so the mother cat helps by licking the kitten's genital area to provide the necessary stimulation.

Since there is no mother cat, I have to provide the stimulation. And no, you sick bastards, I am not licking the cat. I've been using a Q-Tip dipped in warm water. Which has led to all sorts of wonderful situations. I've been pissed on, shit on, and damn near had my hand scratched (apparently the water wasn't warm enough that day).

This has led to several jokes at my expense, my favorite coming from The Fearless Leader - "So now you'll be rubbing two peckers every night instead of one". Ha ha - what a funny guy.

It's not really a joke if it's true though

Here's a piece of Dave trivia for my thousands of readers (snicker)... today is the day I was supposed to be getting married. Obviously that didn't happen and until recently I was dealing with the on again, off again bumming about being single. But I've found that I enjoy being single. I still have my moments of thinking it'd be nice to have someone to share things with, but all in all being single is the best. Here's why:

1. You don't have to plan things around someone else's schedule.
2. If you want to go out for a beer or two after work, you won't hear about it when you get home.
3. You don't get treated like crap for having one beer.
4. No ridiculous arguments.
5. Being single means your schedule is wide open, making last-minute planning a snap.
6. (Hand in hand with number 5) No asking if it's OK if you make plans to do something.
7. Being able to flirt with 19 year-old secretaries and getting them to giggle (my personal fave).
8. Being able to ogle admire attractive women without fear of being caught and without guilt.
9. Having the time to do things you haven't done in a while.
10. Having the time to branch out into new activities.
11. Being able to sit back, listen to other people's tales of relationship misery, and have no similar tales to share.

Given enough time I'm sure I could probably come up with a lot more. And then again, maybe not. It does suck that I'm not getting married... I am a family-minded individual. But it'll happen when the time is right and I finally find the right person. I just hope I stop finding the wrong ones before I'm old and gray.

But after moping for a bit, being single isn't as bad as I once thought.

Welcome to a weekend time-killer. I have a new addition to the family, but haven't settled on a name. I wasn't planning on having to name a kitten, but here I am. Cast your vote and tell me what you think the kitten's name should be. This won't actually decide what I name the lil guy, but it might be interesting to see what others think. Humor me...

Wasted Years Poll

What Do You Think Dave Should Name The Kitten? 'Echo' 7 'Keys' 0 'Lincoln' 0 'I.T.S.' 0 'Cat' 0 Total votes: 7     Version 2.02

Following a link to a completely un-newsworthy story on CNN.com I was greeted by the following breaking news banner:

South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun crosses the Demilitarized Zone for historic talks with North Korean leader Kim Jong Il.

Now that's newsworthy.

Towards the end of the day today our new tech director came into The Fearless Leader's office and asked if we wanted to drop RAM upgrades into our new servers. I'm working my way into über-geekdom so of course I wanted to play with the nice new shiny Xserves he bought. We've got a total of five new servers - one to run LDAP, one to run an intranet, one to replace our webserver, one which is going to be attached to an Xserve RAID (with about 5.25TB of storage!) and become our new mail suite, and one... ya know... I can't remember what the last one is doing. But that's not important right now.

On to the RAM. We dropped 8GB of RAM into the LDAP server and brought the intranet server up to a total of 10GB. That's a helluva lot of RAM and the servers themselves are beefed up but I'm not surprised. I've noticed one thing about our new tech director - he doesn't screw around when it comes to hardware, he gets the most bang for his buck. Unlike our previous person in charge who damn near killed us with her doctrine of 'Quantity Over Quality', which we're still suffering from in the form of crappy eMacs.

So I got to see the inside of an Xserve for the first time today and I gotta tell ya, it is impressive to say the least. I'll admit it - I drooled a little. We're probably going to start getting these things configured and deployed in a couple of weeks. My school year is off to a damn good start.

That was the kind of movie that needed to be seen on the big screen! I don't know what was more pleasing - watching Bumblebee pound on Barricade or watching Prime decapitate Bonecrusher. There's something about giant transforming robots beating the crap out of each other that sates an unknown need in me.

Me and Brad were supposed to check it out but Brad fell ill. I didn't have anything better to do so I made for the theater. Total attendance increased by four and I have to say - that was the best movie-going experience ever. No annoying people talking through the entire movie, no obnoxious cell phones ringing, no screaming children whose parents couldn't find a sitter.

From now on I'm waiting until movies have been out for awhile and going on a Wednesday.

I'm sitting in a theater to see Transformers...

I'm one of two people in the theater.

This is the best!

Last month, Michele over at A Big Victory started a list of her favorite songs from 300 different bands. Being me I offered up Cold as a suggestion. I didn't expect Cold to make the list given the rules.

Well slap me on the ass and call me Sally. I was wrong! Great song - I've actually been listening to it a lot lately since it fits my mood. If I had been keeping up with the list, I would've known Cold made it a while back... I really need to get better at paying attention. Yeesh.

Check out the rest of her list. She's got some great tunes on it and is thinking about slapping together a CD collection of the list when she's done and offering it up as the prize for a yet-to-be-determined contest.

Six Apart recently released Movable Type 4, an update to the MT platform that brings sweeping change to the blogging tool I've just gotten comfortable with. I've been playing around with MT 4 on a test site and while I think an upgrade would go off without a hitch, I'm not sure if I feel like playing with fire just yet. Especially since I just got this puppy redesigned to my liking.

Hats off to everyone who has already upgraded, but this little boy is going to hold off for a few months and see how things go. The test site is stable, MT 4 went through a beta process, and I haven't heard of any major problems - but knowing my luck, the minute I apply the update to the live site here, something will explode and the blog will come crashing down in flames.

Which, now that I think about it, might not necessarily be a bad thing.

This is the coolest thing I've read in a long time.

Very interesting material and definitely something I'd like to see in person.

Since I'm going to be trying my hand at regularly posting reviews, I popped over to DisclosurePolicy.Org and used their generator to put together my official advertising disclosure.

I'm also going to tweak my template to include my post categories somewhere in the post. All sponsored posts will fall under the "Wasted Reviews" category.

Just so y'all know what's going on.

I've had the new layout up for almost a week and I think I like it enough to keep it. Why didn't anyone tell me my shit was so hard to read? I mean, damn people! I just throw the words on the page... do you think I actually read them? Seriously though - when I read what's there I never let the dark text on the white background bother me - until I was playing with the new layout and comparing. WHOA! I'm amazed none of you have gone blind!

It's here to stay, probably for another four years and then I'll get antsy (or dumped) and find another new layout. If I'm still doing this in four years anyway.

Moving right along, I'd like to point out that the lovely Venomous Kate has a new blog, Queen of Snark. Head on over for your dose of celebrity gossip and news, delivered by the blogosphere's Queen of Snark! This addition has Kate running four separate blogs...

Four blogs! Kate, darlin'... you're making me tired watching you work... but thanks for the Natalie Portman post

And because I'm all for link whoring, I'm hitting the Bite Me post too.

Wrist - Feeling better.
Back - Not so much.
New site layout - not too shabby.

Two out of three ain't bad. Have a look around and kick the tires for me. If you find anything out of place, give a holler.

And enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Potentially throwing caution to the wind I went downtown to stand with the supporters of 287(g) outside of city hall. After parking a couple of blocks away, I made my way to the street outside city hall. The supporters were a small ragtag group when compared to the thousands of people protesting against 287(g) - radio reports I had heard on my way pinned the number of supporters at around three hundred. It sure didn't look to me like there were three hundred supporters there, but I suck at guesstimating so there you go.

As I got closer I saw several American flags at our end and at the other end of the street where the protesters were set up. I will give the protesters this - they had thousands of people there. Granted there were several reports of people once again being bussed in (which apparently affected northbound traffic out of Chicago according to the traffic guy on the radio), but either way they had massive numbers compared to us. People on our side of the "line" (that imaginary line in the middle of the street that the police stood on warily) were singing patriotic songs and were in good spirits. One guy was walking around, clearly savoring a special brew in his travel mug, rambling on about "those people" - I took an immediate dislike to him.

I also took a dislike to several other people, who's hateful vitriolic criticism of Mexico and Mexicans was severely out of place. I didn't go there to listen to haters spread their message, I went to support 287(g).

Anywho... things were pretty quiet until about twenty after eight or so. That's when the police deployed to the middle of the street in full riot gear. Joining them were county sheriffs, our police dogs and three sharpshooters on the lower level roof of city hall.

Yes, I said sharpshooters. Apparently, they weren't screwing around tonight and were ready to take of of business. Not too long after that, the council began giving comments and their votes. We listened in on a radio outside, groups of people huddling together trying to catch the votes as they were cast. Someone had a radio that was loud enough for everyone to hear - don't know if they played it through the bullhorn or what. I'm not sure who, but one alderman made comments to the effect of "it's nice that all these protesters came out, but this is our city and we don't need anyone from the outside telling us how to do things". That obviously got a positive reaction from us supporters.

Quick side note - the police had this puppy idling in a lot for a while, until they moved her back to make room for a fire truck they were going to have back into that spot. I'm guessing in the event of a riot, they were planning on driving the fire truck into the street to provide a barricade. That's only a guess though.

The final tally came down in favor of proceeding with applying for 287(g) - 8 for, 2 against. We were jubilant and then listened for confirmation. Confirmation came and people started leaving. Some of the supporters ran up to the barricades and started a USA chant, but a gentleman from ALIPAC (I'm not sure, but he might've been the head honcho) called for quiet and asked everyone to leave quietly - a request that had been made through the evening. Everyone complied and we went home.

(Full gallery is here. Excuse the crappy pics - can't expect much from a camera phone while on the move.)

UPDATE: NBC 5 covered this on the ten o'clock news. They had comments from a protester who said that they're going to take millions of dollars out of our city and businesses are going to close up because of all the people leaving. When this all happens it'll be our fault.

Hey chief, if that's your attitude kiss my ass and don't let the door hit you on the way out. I want felons out of here ASAP. Apparently so does a majority of the council. Gimme a break!

It's a gorgeous day outside - why am I sitting here typing away on the laptop?

Screw this - I'm headed out to the garage to tear something apart.

Enjoy the rest of your day!

A brief continuation from this post...

This Monday's council meeting is shaping up to be a doozy. The police are planning on being out in full force to maintain order due to the massive number of protesters (both pro-illegal and anti-illegal) expected to be at city hall. Apparently, the buses from Chicago will be running again and thousands are expected to converge on our council chamber which only holds 175.

It sounds like the aldermen are going to cave and rescind the resolution seeking 287(g) status. And this is why I love my local government - they cave to pressure from outside sources, but never cave to pressure from their constituents.

Worthless bums.

Via The Venomous One I found this post and figured I'd share.

This week's band is Metallica. My favorite song - Welcome Home (Sanitarium).

Any other Metallica fans out there? What's your favorite Metallica tune?

Looking for a way to kill some time?

Have at the Kitten Cannon!

Sometimes I'd like to launch my two shit heads out of a cannon - not that I ever would. But sometimes they're two of the most infuriating creatures on earth. Now I can take out my frustrations in a virtual setting.

My best distance is 1,525 feet... with a max altitude of 148 feet.

Have at it.

Reports are coming in that Krissy has a big mouth!

While the size of Krissy's mouth has been debated about for years, measurements taken today during a trip to the dentist have proven that Krissy's mouth is indeed big.

The average mouth size is 42mm, Krissy's mouth measures a gargantuan 57mm!

Stay tuned for further information as it becomes available.