July 26, 2005
The Wheels Keep On Turning
Hmmm... it's just mind boggling to see time just going by no matter what it is that has happened in one's life, to one's self, or to those surrounding us. It's sometimes as if I'm standing outside of my body watching everything happen, unable to do something about it. I try to scream, I try to run, I can't. I'm petrified, I'm silent, I'm trapped! It's as if a river is just flowing in front of me and it doesn't stop, it just keeps going. The current seems calm on the surface but in the darkness of its bottomless depths there are powerful swirls of water going downward, taking everything in sight without discrimination. That's a glimpse to my life. My life just seems together, nicely drawn, but in reality it's nothing but a mess, waiting to get reorganized, but somehow, as soon as I put one thing in order, the other falls right back where is was... I hate it!!! Talk about keeping busy, reinventing, surviving, and reorganizing goals, life, dreams, family, friends, and one's self. Sometimes I feel as if I'm hanging on to one of the hands of a mill, flying and hanging for dear life. It's a never-ending ride!!! It keeps on turning and turning and I can't seem to find a way to jump off. Turning, turning, turning...
