Here’s my little jingle celebrating the new school year. I didn’t completely break it down by verse, but I’m sure you can figure out how it goes…

On the twelfth day of school, my district gave to me…

Twelve misconfigured clients,
Eleven emergency texts,
Ten frantic phone calls,
Nine tangled cables,
Eight crappy Dells,
Seven closed out tickets,
Six imaged iMacs,
Five MAP testing servers,
Four stupid questions,
Three pissed off co-workers,
Two pissy attitudes,
And a hijacked mail account!

All right bitches!

My creaking knees have reminded me that the Holiest of Holy Days is nigh upon us – Xmas in September!

Instead of belittling your ignorance and demanding your obedient consumerism to fulfill my desirous longing of music, movies, and miscellaneous crap, I’ve decided to forgo demanding the usual sacrifices. This year, let us meet, feast, drink, and have a good time! My sole birthday wish this year is to spend it in the company of good friends – let’s do it!

On the off chance that some of you are still longing to spoil my ass, I’ll take a Cristina Scabbia. Thanks.