Wasted Years

I'm taking another stab at raising money for St. Jude Children's Hospital this year.

I'm hoping to raise $3,000 by June. If I meet my goal, the hair comes off and goes to Locks of Love. If you've got a few dollars you can spare, head over to Cut Dave's Hair for the details.

Thanks!

2009 was a piece of shit, to be sure. On its way out the door, it can certainly stop long enough to kiss my ass.

2010 is upon us, a year full of potential and hope. We've all dealt with bullshit this past year, but 2010 can be ours. Correction - 2010 will be ours. It's time to step up, take what's yours and defy your detractors. Give them the gift that keeps on giving, the single finger salute. Treat each day as the gift it is and appreciate that you have it. Be selfish, look out for you and yours because ultimately no one else gives a damn. Go out and live!

My To-Do List for 2010:

- Quit smoking.

- Take better care of myself.

- Expand my apathetic attitude towards certain people further - When I stopped caring about a group of people and stopped worrying about civility, I started sleeping again. Like a fucking baby. Every night. I'm taking it further. Outside of a small circle of close friends, I'm done. I don't fucking care about you, your supposed troubles, or anything you have to say. Offended? Sit and spin. Then go kick rocks.

- Take my own advice and be selfish for once. I always say I'm going to do it, but never quite get there. 2010 will be different.

- Finish revising my damn book and finish writing the other one that's been sitting on the back burner.

- Pick up my guitar and start playing again.

- Make a movie.

- Take a vacation. To Florida. To watch a shuttle launch. Last year to do it so I better get it done.

- Reconnect with some family. Completely cut ties with others.

- Be happy with me.

Things I'm not looking forward to in 2010:

- Obamacare. Yes, I know it hasn't been finished yet and that it won't go into full effect for a couple of years. Bite me. Seriously, if you think a government that can still fuck up a wet dream after practicing for as long as they have having a hand in our health care is a good idea, you are a fucking idiot. Plain and simple. If you think it's a great idea, take good care of your other brain cell since that's the only one that's keeping you alive.

Wow. I can only think of one thing that I'm not looking forward to. I'm sure more will come up. Maybe? Meh, not worth the time to dwell on it.

2009 - hit the road. You're not wanted here anymore. A bigger better year is waiting to take your place. 2010 will be a good year because I refuse to let it be anything but.

2010 will be my year.

My family, like most, has had its ups and downs through the years. My brothers in particular have all had their share of issues, especially the youngest of the three. He's been married twice and divorced twice, and has one child from each marriage. His daughter is doing well, but his oldest, his son Christopher, had a rough life.

After the divorce, there were a lot of problems with the ex-wife. Even when I was too young to fully grasp what was going on, I knew enough to know that I didn't like her very much. She just seemed off. She did bring Christopher over so he could see his grandparents, but those visits were few and far between.

Eventually, she dropped a bomb on everyone and announced she was moving out of the area. Oh, she promised she would keep in touch and make sure Christopher still got to communicate with his family and whatnot, and that happened a couple of times but not very much.

And then she dropped off the face the planet completely. Phones were disconnected, mail was returned. There was no trace of her or my nephew. The family was worried and did what they could to find Christopher. After several years, it wasn't until my mom was pointed to DCFS and finally reached someone who could help that we all learned what had happened. Christopher had been removed from his mother's care and placed with a foster family (Why DCFS didn't attempt to place him with his dad is still a mystery) and had been adopted by the family. He was healthy, happy, and loved.

My mom, hearing all of this, was relieved he was ok but upset at the process. She decided that if Christopher was happy and being cared for, that was good enough for her with everything he had been through. It was not an easy decision, but she decided to let go and trust that his adoptive family would give him the life he deserved. It was a decision that always bothered her.

But hopefully it won't bother her anymore. Yesterday, my niece called and told my mom that she found Christopher on Facebook (apparently, my spelling skills are for shit which is why I never found him when I tried). We now know where he lives. We know he's doing well. We know he's married. Most importantly, we know he's ok.

This has been the best Christmas ever for a lot of us. Finding Christopher made it the best Christmas ever for my mom. Years of guilt vanished from her face over the course of the night and I can't remember when I've seen her so happy.

Merry Christmas.