I got plenty of ’em. Yet another argument (a bad one – not that any of them are ever good) with SM yesterday during which I accused her of lying. Which, of course, she promptly denied.
The bitch of it is – even if she’s not lying, she has zero credibility with me. There’s nothing to help me trust what she says. And I’m generally okay with that until shit like yesterday happens. What if she’s not lying? How can I know for sure? I guess the real question is – is it possible to ever trust someone again after they’ve stuck a knife in your back?
I can ask that question until the day I die, but I damn sure won’t get an answer. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s a meaningless question.
New Lacuna Coil… guaranteed to turn the shittiest of days into something less shitty. Or something.
I found out I lost a friend today. We weren’t at all close anymore. In fact, we weren’t even really friends anymore. We both said and did things along the way that pushed our friendship to non-existence. But I still call her friend. Dead at the age of 30, she leaves behind her parents, her husband, and a young son. Her passing is senseless. Just like the chasm that grew between us was senseless.
Life is finite. We’re born, we live, we die. It seems like it can go on forever, but it’s relatively quick in the grand scheme of things. And yet, with the short amount of time we have on this earth, so many people choose to squander their given time on meaningless pursuits and hollow achievements. Life isn’t about how much money you make or how much you have. It’s not about having a big house, a big TV, or the latest gadgets. Life shouldn’t be wasted on harboring resentment towards people or outright hating them. Petty bickering is pointless and serves no purpose. When it’s all said and done, these things – the money, the petty arguments, the fawning over useless trinkets – they give nothing in return.
Life should be about family. Life should be about friends. Family and friends, especially good friends, add to our experiences and enrich our lives. They help to make us who we are. The times we share with them can be full of love and laughter or tears and sorrow, but they make it all worth it in the end. They keep us from feeling alone. They give us purpose. They give us the strength to endure whatever hardships we may face. They are worth more than anything money can buy. And if you’re not careful, they can be gone before you know it.
Put aside the arguments, the hate, the anger. Try to mend hurt relationships before it’s too late and don’t put it off. Because you never know when it will be too late and you won’t have the opportunity to say the things you might want or need to say. I made that mistake once and told myself I’d never let it happen again. And now I’ve made that mistake again. I can’t fix things now – I’ll live with that regret. But my regret will be overshadowed by the cherished memories of the good times we shared. Always and forever.
I found out I lost a friend today. Things just aren’t going to be the same.